Scribblehub Leakage: Episode 4

Some slight changes to the format this time around. We’re still doing ratings, but at the end I’ll just give it an “Overall Thoughts” rather than a “How to Improve” or anything like that. A lot of these stories keep winding up being pretty good and don’t need a lot of improvement!

After that, we’ll do a “Is This For Me?” bit where I try to specify who should read it. If you’re into office romance, bombastic action, and space travel, there’s a story for you out there. This is where I try to find it.

The Rules

1: No AI. If your book cover has AI, if your book text is AI, or if you admit to using AI anywhere in your writing process, you go right on the slop heap. The slop heap is worse than the trash heap, because trash can be entertaining, even good, even if it’s trashy. You’re neither. Get the fuck out of here with that.

You do not get anything for tricking me and slipping AI past the radar. This shit is everywhere. However, AI detectors are laughably unreliable, there is no perfect way to catch it. I’ll be pissed if I find out.

2: I will give your work a fair shot. ALWAYS. This does not mean reading the entire thing, it means at least checking out a few chapters in. Tolstoy was long-winded because he got paid per word, and some of these stories make Tolstoy look like a bathroom advertisement.

3: I will leave a review on your Scribblehub page. It’s very difficult to get reviews for anything, good or bad. Most people don’t want to leave them. Well, I will. I will try to be constructive, too. Be the change you want to see in the world.

How Ratings Work

I will give your story letter grades in the departments. These are subjective, which if you’re new to the concept of artistic appreciation, is true for all works of art. Art is a conversation between the creator and the reader, it requires both, it will always be subjective. They are A through F, with A being good, and F being proFoundly bad. I can give out + or – added to the end but not for F, if you get an F reconsider everything. F’s are usually for a lack of eFFort, or perhaps, lack of skill(F).

Which categories get letter grades varies. Not all stories are the same, some have precious little dialogue and must be coddled and kept warm like a baby bird who drinks drinks with a lot of ice in them. I can’t give out a letter grade for dialogue to a story that has little dialogue.

Not all of these stories are TF stories. Sorry, I know that’s what you’re into but you’re gonna have to meet people who write about things like getting on the bus and don’t even turn into a bug.

By the Designs of Destiny

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2606104/by-the-designs-of-destiny

All right here we go, magical girls with dolls. Sign me up.

Missed Opportunities – A+

Look I am sorry but she doesn’t transform into a doll. Our heroine, Destiny, has sewing-based powers she gets from a magic doll she fixed but she doesn’t turn into a doll. I am so sorry.

It’s still a really good story but just imagine if she transformed into a doll I’d lose it.

Trans Positivity – A

Our main character is trans and it’s just a fact of life, and her magical girl powers give her stuff like retroactive passing to other people in her life. Girl is living the dream.

Magical Girl Drama – C

Yeah it’s a C-rating which is quite negative. Sorry, magical girls disliking each other is just not my thing. If you like it when team members hate one another then this is an A for you! Also they’ll probably start kissing each other pretty quick, that always happens.

Thoughts / Who Is This For?

The only complaint I can really yield is the periodic use of ! in a first person narrative. Exclamation points in first-person never seem to sit right. Otherwise, the story is mechanically fine and doesn’t waste too much time getting to the good bits. Everything in those first chapters is useful setup.

So who’s it for? Magical girl fans, obviously. Throw in some yuri and mortal danger and you can see it all coming together.

Clara Casewell, Attorney to the Villainess

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/151748/clara-casewell-attorney-to-the-villainess-vol

Oh boy it’s episode four and we’re already breaking all the rules. This is a RoyalRoad and not a Scribblehub story, so that’s one rule into the meat grinder. The other is that this is a reader request. I said at some point that I would only do requests if the author requested it but let’s be real: Nobody’s reading this column. Nobody! There is a zero-percent chance an author is going to ask me to do a review so fuck it, reader requests are a go.

It also already has a bunch of reviews so fuck me I guess.

Neverwinter Nights 2 Long-Bomb? – A

Okay I might be going out on a limb here but this line: ““Are you kidding me?” Clara muttered. “You spent twenty chapters building up to this courtroom drama and now it’s trial by combat? That’s not—that doesn’t even—””

Is this a from-downtown reference to Neverwinter Nights 2? In that game there’s a trial sequence and the player can win or lose based on their decisions, but if you win the other side challenges you to a trial by combat, and if you lose, your side demands trial by combat. This means the trial is entirely pointless since it’s resolved by a fight anyway.

If it isn’t a reference then I’ll feel silly but if it is – well. I can dream.

Now just imagine how much it must suck for a lawyer to be reading a story on Scribblehub about a trial. Either you’re pulling your hair out from the inaccuracies or you’re pulling your hair out because it’s really accurate and your job is bad enough as it is.

Doing my job for me – A

Yes this is an isekai, it’s right there in both the title and also the title pattern. However, Clara gets isekai’d into the world of a fiction she’s reading, and she’s pointing out flaws in worldbuilding and cliches the whole time.

Okay so I just hand off Scribblehub Leakage to you then? Okay take the job, fictional character!

Thoughts / Who Is This For?

It’s Ace Attorney but Isekai so if anything about that sounds interesting then the link is up there, get going. It’s a good story that keeps up a good pace. Things happen, I like the characters, and there are jokes and references at just the right clip that I want to keep going. I have to stop after three chapters for these mini-reviews but you don’t.

The River of Stars

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2438545/the-river-of-stars

Now this one I plucked off the front page so let’s see what happens. No thumbs on the scale here, this one’s totally at random.

The Void

No seriously, this is a story about The Void. The first chapter is a rather long and dry exploration of it which doesn’t say a whole lot. We get a bit of info about our setting, there’s an emperor and a prince and the protagonist is a slave who works for them. Not a lot actually happens.

Sorry but I had to drop this one midway through the second chapter. Even when our hero is talking to his friends, it’s about the void. All his thoughts are about the void. Void void void!

Thoughts / Who Is This For?

I can see there’s a sci-fi space epic coming here but all I can see it ten-thousand words dedicated to the void.

Wrap Up

That started out strong and ended really unpleasant. Why do I do this to myself?